Not knowing how to deal with conflicts in a marriage is one of the number one reasons people divorce. When two people come together in a marriage the first year is the hardest to get through. The reason is two different people will have to learn how to get along with different habits or fail.
It could be a catastrophe in the beginning but some grin and bare it through clinched teeth to be with their soul mate. Well guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. There is a method to dealing with disagreements and disappointments without growing farther apart or worse.
Many have learn how to deal with incompatibility on a number of issues but have lost romance and in some regards respect for their partner. You shouldn't have to ignore what makes you angry just to stay together. This is not fair to your or your partner.
I know that you may think that if you bring up everything that is bothering you about your partner, they would think you did not love them. But more importantly you have to know what you want and need in your marriage. If you don't know how will your partner?
Here are some ways to deal with conflicts whether you are newly married or veterans that learned to tolerate the way things are.
Marital Conflicts To Avoid
- Never make your spouse fill useless or unwanted.
- Never use divorce or separation as a threat.
- Never name call, it is demeaning.
- Never lie always apologize when wrong.
- Clean after yourself.
- Never shout in a disagreement.
- Never say you are the boss.
- Say "We" more than "Me".
- Replace toilet paper.
- Keep gas in car at least a quarter of a tank full.
- Clean your hair and toothpaste from sink.
- Throw dirty clothe in hamper.
- Call to cancel plans with spouse before the planned time.
5 Ways To Resolve Conflicts In A Marriage
- Choose a certain day and time to deal with important issues. The same way you set a time up to clean the car and get gas you can set a certain time of the week for about 45 minutes to deal with all concerns. Choose time that is good for both of you when you are not rushed. Reschedule only in case of an emergency. This will allow you to avoid future blowups.
- Before meeting be sure to think of ideas (suggestions) to solve the problem. If you have complaints offer a solution if you can. (For instance not spitting in the garbage is simple to fix. Some people don't know that's annoying.)
- When finally sitting down never say "You". This is very inflammatory and will cause your mate to become uncooperative. Say "I feel bad when you don't say you love me, I need to hear that to feel loved" instead of "You don't say you love me, don't you love me?
- Always repeat what you heard from your partner to be sure they understand exactly what your concern are or what the agreed solution is.
- If one person is angry or needs space you must reschedule for a certain time so efforts will not be wasted.